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1. Seven Rules of Divorce Mediation
   1. Regardless of what your spouse does, take responsibility for your own behavior.
   2. Separate your emotions from your reason.
   3. Separate your parental responsibilities from your problem marriage.
   4. Accept your share of responsibility for the divorce.
   5. Try to see your spouse’s viewpoint.
   6. Be willing to compromise.
   7. Strive for an equitable and nonadversarial settlement.
   Contributed on 7/9/2007 by: DivorceDex.com Staff

   Category: Mediation  (Applicable in All States)
2. How To Find A Mediator
   The phone book is full of divorce attorneys. How do you know who to trust? When looking for a mediator it is best to avoid the wolves in sheep’s clothing. You do not want an attorney who primarily practices adversarial law. While it is best to use a mediator who is an experienced lawyer so they can give accurate legal information to the couple, you want to use someone who focuses primarily or better yet, exclusively on mediation instead of litigation. Ask the mediator how many mediations they have done (the more the better), what their success rate is, how long it takes and the cost. Then compare the answers to see who the two of you like best.
   Contributed on 10/11/2007 by: Divorce In A Day MediationCarlsbad, CA[Total Submissions: 14]

   Category: Mediation  (Applicable in All States)
3. Mediation Won’t Work For These Kinds Of People
   Mediation is not right for everyone. Experts agree that about 15% of the cases involve high conflict personality types (Borderline, Narcissistic, Histrionic and Antisocial). Those kinds of people want to fight. They need the drama and chaos that IS our adversarial system. Mediation is also not right for people who are hiding income or assets. Dishonest people will not deal fairly with their spouse which forces the honest spouse to hire an attorney to do discovery in order to uncover hidden information.
   Contributed on 10/11/2007 by: Divorce In A Day MediationCarlsbad, CA[Total Submissions: 14]

   Category: Mediation  (Applicable in All States)
4. Choosing a Mediator
   Choosing a mediator carefully is very important, and not all mediators are the same! Many are highly trained, experienced, professional mediators who have been practicing mediation successfully for many years. Some however may be brand new mediators who "just got trained last weekend". There is no licensure of mediators in New York state at this time, but there are accredited mediators. How to choose? Ask! Interview 2 or 3 mediators before you start; many will provide a free initial consultation. Ask how long they have been practicing mediation and how many cases they have handled this year. Ask if they are an accredited mediator (e.g. The NY State Council on Divorce Mediation has a list of it’s accredited members).
   Contributed on 10/25/2007 by: Al Frankel, LCSWMt. Kisco, NY[Total Submissions: 1]

   Category: Mediation  (Applicable in New York)
5. The similarity between organization and mediation
   Organization has been defined as the act or process of organizing or of being organized; or the condition or manner of being organized or more specifically as a social arrangement which pursues collective goals, which controls its own performance… Both these definitions seem to be discussing mediation and the self-determination that defines it. Mediation is when the neutral assists both parties in the process to collectively come to a resolution of the issues in their divorce. (a state of organization). If we think of the organization as a noun, the organization is the couple or family pursuing the divorce. If we think of the organization as a verb, the organization is when the parties, with the assistance of the mediator, resolve issues surrounding the divorce.
   Contributed on 10/23/2009 by: Mediation-Conflict ResolutionAlexander, NC[Total Submissions: 2]

   Category: Organization  (Applicable in All States)

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