Here is a list of a Children’s Rights Bill of Rights, which are considered in all custody decisions in the best interest of the children:

> a continuing relationship with both parents.
> being seen not as a piece of property, but as a human being recognized to have unique feelings, ideas, and desires consistent with that of an individual.
> continuing care and proper guidance from each parent.
> not to be unduly influenced by either parent to view the other parent differently.
> expressed love, friendship, and respect for both parents: freedom from having to hide those stated emotions or made to be ashamed of such.
> an explanation that the impending action of divorce was in no way caused by the child’s actions.
> not being the subject and/or source of any and all arguments.
> continuing, honest feedback with respect to the divorce process and its impact on the changing relationships of the family.
> maintenance of regular contact with both parents and a clear explanation for any change in plans and/or cancellations.
> enjoyment of a pleasurable relationship with both parents, never to be employed as a manipulative bargaining tool.

The obligation of being a parent does not end after a divorce. Failure to realize this is a very common social problem in today’s society: as a dissolution of marriage takes place, so does the parenting. To avoid difficulty in sharing parenthood after a divorce, parents should try to follow these basic rules:

> Address situations with business-like behavior. If at any time a conversation becomes a little too personal, it might be wise to continue it on a later date.
> Respect and encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent.
> Schedule regular appointments with the ex-spouse to discuss parenting issues.
> Make no assumptions on past behavior.
> Attempt to express and/or show appreciation towards one another as even the simplest comment or action can create a stronger and more effective partnership.
> Never intentionally break or skip appointments. If one can’t be kept, be immediately forthright and honest.
> Do not make individual decisions.
> Be open minded.
> Remember the goals and recognize the benefits as they arise.

See also Tender Years; Preference (Child’s).

Your Suggestion

1. The Gold Standard
   In marriage and family law and in divorce actions, the phrase "in the best interests of the child" is the gold standard of care taken by courts in protect children. This means a judge has to assume the role of all-knowing parent in deciding the welfare of children.
   Contributed on 5/16/2007 by: DivorceDex.com Staff

   Category: Child Custody   (Applicable in All States)
2. The Court Appointed Gaurdian
   The courts will often appoint a guardian for the children during a custody dispute case. This is done to help ensure the children are represented in a fashion that is in their best interests. Many parents are shocked when they realize just how much control the court has over their children once a custody case proceeds to trial. This loss of control can be very emotional and can get the best of many parents who for the first time truly realize just how unpredictable a custody ruling can potentially be.
   Contributed on 5/16/2007 by: DivorceDex.com Staff

   Category: Child Custody   (Applicable in All States)
3. Child Custody Ideas - Nesting
   This is for parents who are really focused on the best interest of the children and need to save money. This is YOUR divorce, not your kid’s. Why should they suffer just because the two of you are getting divorce. They don’t want to move and they don’t want to go stay at mom or dad’s new place. They want to be in their own room, in their own neighborhood, close to their friends. So the two of YOU move in and out of the house when it is your turn to be with the kids. When you are not in the big house, you are at the shared bachelor pad. This can be an inexpensive studio or one bedroom flat that is shared by the parents. You need to have rules about not leaving tell tale items that belong to lovers. This saves a LOT of money since no one has to rent or buy a new place that is big enough to accommodate the kids.
   Contributed on 10/12/2007 by: Divorce In A Day Mediation Carlsbad, CA [Total Contributions: 14]

   Category: Child Custody   (Applicable in All States)
4. Michigan Standard for Best Interest of Children
   In Michigan, and perhaps in other jurisdictions, the Court shall use a "best interests of the child" standard in deciding custody and parenting time(visitation). There are roughly twelve factors the Court will look at in determining the "best interests of the child." Some of these factors are the capacity of each party to provide love, affection, and emotional ties to the child; the capacity of each party to provide for the child’s necessities such as food, clothing, etc.; the length of time the child has remained in a stable home environment; the moral fitness of the parties; the mental and physical health of the parties; and if the child is old enough, the child’s preference.
   Contributed on 11/13/2007 by: Law Offices of Blake P. Lipman Farmington Hills, MI [Total Contributions: 4]

   Category: Child Custody   (Applicable in Michigan)

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